brother discharged tis morning..
went nuh to see him, spoken to his doc..
he stil needs to visit hospital pretty often..
nxt apptm nxt week, for a body check up agn,
cos doc needs to knw aftr 1 week at hm,
hw is his body doing.. wil hv blood test & many test agn..

nxt chemo 12sept, doc wil add more medi..

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i was only informed by brother yestrdy aftrn tht he mayb able to discharge..
everythg seems unknown, dun knw tis, dun knw tht..
suddenly say he cn discharge, no staff to cover me,
thus asked daryl to stay til 10am to cover e peak..

early morning took a train to nuh,
but got confused with sgh, ended up i almost alighted at outram..
changed train, a gal thought i m pregnant,
v sweet of her to give up her seat to me..
finally arrived in kent ridge aftr abt 1.5hrs..

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didnt zz well last night..
older darling's pillow is too hard for me..
bb's mummy went to vienna in austria last night,
for a week or so i think.. is a beautiful country..

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getting tough to follow up with younger darling's chinese..
many words i had forgotten how to write,
& i cn only v roughly explain wht it means..
my education stopped 30 over yrs ago..
educations r much higher standard as compare to 30yrs ago..
even if i was A1 30yrs bk, 30yrs later?

well, my kids dun just once or twice reminded me i m nt v capable..
whether is it directly or indirectly..
besides, they always hv in mind i m stil v young..
well, 42 mayb is stil v young to thm.. ya, nt 70 yrs old right..
but is my body & mind, of cos i knw better..
blank memories, suddenly cun remember my pin when i m standing in front of e atm
were just some of my 'old alrdy' symptoms..
m nt finding excuses, but it is tough to everythg keep up e same pace with them..

i watched ch8 我和偶像有个约会,
is a series abt young actor & actress meeting up with their fans..
i noticed nowadays teens feel they knw alot,
they feel they been thru alot, they feel they r mature..
they feel they understd.. do they?

it is my duty to feed & educate both of them..
e time, e strength, e sacrifice i made, etc etc,
everythg has bcom responsibilities when i brought them to tis world..

i dun ask anythg in return from them.. so far did i?
i even didnt plan to live with any1 of them..
infact i knw, they live with their dad is much better than staying with me..
i wan them to have as many thgs as possible, which i m unable to provide..

all i wan from them is to pls study well,
b wise & take gd care of their body..

m not demanding type of parent..
think my boys would perhaps prefer me to b more demanding..
that will push them further up..
but everythg has a gd & bad side..
if i m demanding, their childhood wil b nothg but studies, books & stress..

being their mummy, i knw i didnt meet up with their expectations..
as their mummy, i always knw smthg i shd hv but is missing..
i chosen nt to bother much abt it cos i feel tis shd b smthg 'auto',
it shouldnt b requested..

ppl always say, kids r here to collect debts..
well, i agree..

wait til u r a parent..
wait til ur responsibilities r no longer just study hard..


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