ouch......

right shoulder/neck ache..
cun tilt or lift my head...


***

googled..

Throughout Egypt, days are commonly warm or hot, and nights are cool. Egypt has only two seasons: a mild winter from November to April and a hot summer from May to October. The only differences between the seasons are variations in daytime temperatures and changes in prevailing winds. In the coastal regions, temperatures range between an average minimum of 14° C in winter and an average maximum of 30° C in summer.

Temperatures vary widely in the inland desert areas, especially in summer, when they may range from 7° C at night to 43° C during the day. During winter, temperatures in the desert fluctuate less dramatically, but they can be as low as 0° C at night and as high as 18° C during the day.

The average annual temperature increases moving southward from the Delta to the Sudanese border, where temperatures are similar to those of the open deserts to the east and west. In the north, the cooler temperatures of Alexandria during the summer have made the city a popular resort. Throughout the Delta and the northern Nile Valley, there are occasional winter cold spells accompanied by light frost and even snow. At Aswan, in the south, June temperatures can be as low as 10° C at night and as high as 41° C during the day when the sky is clear.

so is either v hot or v cold & depends on where u r going...

best timing to go wil properly b nov to apr...

but looking at certain area as high as 41° C, like what dear said,
" how to go egypt whn spore weathr 35° C u alrdy say hot die u....?"


***

世界上唯一可以不劳而获的就是贫穷，

唯一可以无中生有的就是梦想。

没有哪件事，不动手就可以实现。

世界虽然残酷，但只要你愿意走，总会有路；

看不到美好，是因为你没有坚持走下去。

人生贵在行动，迟疑不决的时候，
不妨先迈出小小的一步。

前进不必遗憾，若是美好，
叫做精彩；若糟糕，叫做经历

 

 

***

steam ~ ~

awake by staffs due to 1 site down..
all must be v alert, fu til e case closed..

by thn 2hrs passed.. m glad tht we did quite a gd job fu'ing e case..

aftr tht i hv difficulties trying to zz bk..
looking at e time, 0515hrs...

vincent said boss coming to do my apprasial later in e aftrn..
most likely i wil mind shut dwn by noon.... lol...

joey went sch.. stil havign slight fever & blocked nose..
asked him to rest at hm but he wana go sch..
hopefully he is ok in sch..

mum asked whether i cn accom my bro to chemo tis friday..
see hw ba..

finally all kids exam finished.... yeh..... ^ ^
means i cn go gai gai with my mr phee..  haha...


***

hv nothg to watch, i downloaded a movie call : 3 idiots..
i thought is an english movie but is nt..

is a nice movie.. reali nice.. i will pass to HD to watch..

---

nxt week is my report week..
gona b bz bz agn..

i'l b on duty every sat except my bd week in nov..

---

i had a gd rest tis long weekend..
managed to nap, & play with little monster at hm..

---

dad's blood seems to stable dwn alittle..
i m so glad cos doc say to see him in a mth tm,
if his blood result remains e same,
wil only see him in 3mths tm..
hope he remains in e gd rating..

---

i hv learn to knw thgs wun happen e way i want it to b,
& yet to stil b happy & contented,
instead of allowing disappointm to sadden my heart..

---

i didnt realize tht gold is so ex nw..
i m stil at 10-20yrs ago tht kind of price,
i stil thought gold is ard $30-$40 a gram..
in fact it is now $70-$80.. wow..
a v v simple gold bangle cn easily b 1k..

m so out dated..

---

hv nt been doing house work for 10 over yrs..
v sn i wil nd to do all house work myself..
looking at e list... wash clothes, hang clothes, fold clothes,
iron clothes, sweep flr, mop flr, wash toilet, change bed sheet,
slight cooking, tidy e whole house etc..

i'l most likely drop dead every night aftr wk & house work..

---

stitching e 3rd angry bird..

---

weathr is reali reali warm lately.. cn die..
is yr end, shdn't it raining season...?

---

m hapi little darling score nt bad on his exam..
althou is mixtures of As & Bs..
& i knw he cn do bettr in sm of his subjects,
but i m happy enough..

teacher has pen dwn his gd points, nt in term of studies..
but in terms of wht he is doing in sch,
such as he is handling situation well in sch,
his relationship with his frens etc..

i always feel tht EQ is as importn as IQ..
m happy to knw he is doing fine in other aspect,
nt just studying.. althou he has more to learn..

---

nanny almost a whole of yestrdy..
bb parents keep going ot..
so many activities..

noticed left arm ache.. cos carry bb for quite long,
bb nt light anymore.. ;p

littl fellow having flu, slight fever & cough..
stil active, just alittl grumpy

---

9nov oldr darling graduation agn..
tis tm rd is tank commander..
wil go see him drive tank, provided i cn see him fr far..

---

ah gal's unit number nvr 'open'.. =(
ti gong ah........... i wan big sweep & toto pls..............


***

i came across an article..

Dr Richard Teo's testimony after cancer diagnosis.
pls read on.. & think agn..
life is nt just rich & successful..
life is nt hw others think u shd b leading..

life is abt process.. it shd b mental more thn physical.
dr richard didnt feel for others,
he knws wht his patient will go thru,
but he dun undrstd hw it is reali like, til he is a patient himself..
a snail is seriously nothg to him..
but to others, it is also a life..

is a v long msg he wrote, but pls read on..

Hi good morning to all of you. My voice is a bit hoarse, so please bear with me. I thought I'll just introduce myself. My name is Richard, I'm a medical doctor. And I thought I'll just share some thoughts of my life. It's my pleasure to be invited by prof. Hopefully, it can get you thinking about how... as you pursue this.. embarking on your training to become dental surgeons, to think about other things as well.

Since young, I am a typical product of today's society. Relatively successful product that society requires.. From young, I came from a below average family. I was told by the media... and people around me that happiness is about success. And that success is about being wealthy. With this mind-set, I've always be extremely competitive, since I was young.

Not only do I need to go to the top school, I need to have success in all fields. Uniform groups, track, everything. I needed to get trophies, needed to be successful, I needed to have colours award, national colours award, everything. So I was highly competitive since young. I went on to medical school, graduated as a doctor. Some of you may know that within the medical faculty, ophthalmology is one of the most highly sought after specialities. So I went after that as well. I was given a traineeship in ophthalmology, I was also given a research scholarship by NUS to develop lasers to treat the eye.

So in the process, I was given 2 patents, one for the medical devices, and another for the lasers. And you know what, all this academic achievements did not bring me any wealth. So once I completed my bond with MOH, I decided that this is taking too long, the training in eye surgery is just taking too long. And there's lots of money to be made in the private sector. If you're aware, in the last few years, there is this rise in aesthetic medicine. Tons of money to be made there. So I decided, well, enough of staying in institution, it's time to leave. So I quit my training halfway and I went on to set up my aesthetic clinic... in town, together with a day surgery centre.

You know the irony is that people do not make heroes out average GP (general practitioner), family physicians. They don't. They make heroes out of people who are rich and famous. People who are not happy to pay $20 to see a GP, the same person have no qualms paying ten thousand dollars for a liposuction, 15 thousand dollars for a breast augmentation, and so on and so forth. So it's a no brainer isn't? Why do you want to be a gp? Become an aesthetic physician. So instead of healing the sick and ill, I decided that I'll become a glorified beautician. So, business was good, very good. It started off with waiting of one week, then became 3weeks, then one month, then 2 months, then 3 months. I was overwhelmed; there were just too many patients. Vanities are fantastic business. I employed one doctor, the second doctor, the 3rd doctor, the 4th doctor. And within the 1st year, we're already raking in millions. Just the 1st year. But never is enough because I was so obsessed with it. I started to expand into Indonesia to get all the rich Indonesian tai-tais who wouldn't blink an eye to have a procedure done. So life was really good.

So what do I do with the spare cash. How do I spend my weekends? Typically, I'll have car club gatherings. I take out my track car, with spare cash I got myself a track car. We have car club gatherings. We'll go up to Sepang in Malaysia. We'll go for car racing. And it was my life. With other spare cash, what do i do? I get myself a Ferrari. At that time, the 458 wasn't out, it's just a spider convertible, 430. This is a friend of mine, a schoolmate who is a forex trader, a banker. So he got a red one, he was wanting all along a red one, I was getting the silver one.

So what do I do after getting a car? It's time to buy a house, to build our own bungalows. So we go around looking for a land to build our own bungalows, we went around hunting. So how do i live my life? Well, we all think we have to mix around with the rich and famous. This is one of the Miss Universe. So we hang around with the beautiful, rich and famous. This by the way is an internet founder. So this is how we spend our lives, with dining and all the restaurants and Michelin Chefs you know.

So I reach a point in life that I got everything for my life. I was at the pinnacle of my career and all. That's me one year ago in the gym and I thought I was like, having everything under control and reaching the pinnacle.

Well, I was wrong. I didn't have everything under control. About last year March, I started to develop backache in the middle of nowhere. I thought maybe it was all the heavy squats I was doing. So I went to SGH, saw my classmate to do an MRI, to make sure it's not a slipped disc or anything. And that evening, he called me up and said that we found bone marrow replacement in your spine. I said, sorry what does that mean? I mean I know what it means, but I couldn't accept that. I was like “Are you serious?” I was still running around going to the gym you know. But we had more scans the next day, PET scans - positrons emission scans, they found that actually I have stage 4 terminal lung cancer. I was like "Whoa where did that come from?” It has already spread to the brain, the spine, the liver and the adrenals. And you know one moment I was there, totally thinking that I have everything under control, thinking that I've reached the pinnacle of my life. But the next moment, I have just lost it.

This is a CT scan of the lungs itself. If you look at it, every single dot there is a tumour. We call this miliaries tumour. And in fact, I have tens of thousands of them in the lungs. So, I was told that even with chemotherapy, that I'll have about 3-4months at most. Did my life come crushing on, of course it did, who wouldn't? I went into depression, of course, severe depression and I thought I had everything.

See the irony is that all these things that I have, the success, the trophies, my cars, my house and all. I thought that brought me happiness. But i was feeling really down, having severe depression. Having all these thoughts of my possessions, they brought me no joy. The thought of... You know, I can hug my Ferrari to sleep, no... No, it is not going to happen. It brought not a single comfort during my last ten months. And I thought they were, but they were not true happiness. But it wasn't. What really brought me joy in the last ten months was interaction with people, my loved ones, friends, people who genuinely care about me, they laugh and cry with me, and they are able to identify the pain and suffering I was going through. That brought joy to me, happiness. None of the things I have, all the possessions, and I thought those were supposed to bring me happiness. But it didn't, because if it did, I would have felt happy think about it, when I was feeling most down..

You know the classical Chinese New Year that is coming up. In the past, what do I do? Well, I will usually drive my flashy car to do my rounds, visit my relatives, to show it off to my friends. And I thought that was joy, you know. I thought that was really joy. But do you really think that my relatives and friends, whom some of them have difficulty trying to make ends meet, that will truly share the joy with me? Seeing me driving my flashy car and showing off to them? No, no way. They won’t be sharing joy with me. They were having problems trying to make ends meet, taking public transport. In fact i think, what I have done is more like you know, making them envious, jealous of all I have. In fact, sometimes even hatred.

Those are what we call objects of envy. I have them, I show them off to them and I feel it can fill my own pride and ego. That didn't bring any joy to these people, to my friends and relatives, and I thought they were real joy.

Well, let me just share another story with you. You know when I was about your age, I stayed in king Edward VII hall. I had this friend whom I thought was strange. Her name is Jennifer, we're still good friends. And as I walk along the path, she would, if she sees a snail, she would actually pick up the snail and put it along the grass patch. I was like why do you need to do that? Why dirty your hands? It’s just a snail. The truth is she could feel for the snail. The thought of being crushed to death is real to her, but to me it's just a snail. If you can't get out of the pathway of humans then you deserve to be crushed, it’s part of evolution isn't it? What an irony isn't it?

There I was being trained as a doctor, to be compassionate, to be able to empathise; but I couldn't. As a house officer, I graduated from medical school, posted to the oncology department at NUH. And, every day, every other day I witness death in the cancer department.

When I see how they suffered, I see all the pain they went through. I see all the morphine they have to press every few minutes just to relieve their pain. I see them struggling with their oxygen breathing their last breath and all. But it was just a job. When I went to clinic every day, to the wards every day, take blood, give the medication but was the patient real to me? They weren't real to me. It was just a job, I do it, I get out of the ward, I can't wait to get home, I do my own stuff.

Was the pain, was the suffering the patients went through real? No. Of course I know all the medical terms to describe how they feel, all the suffering they went through. But in truth, I did not know how they feel, not until I became a patient. It is until now; I truly understand how they feel. And, if you ask me, would I have been a very different doctor if I were to re-live my life now, I can tell you yes I will. Because I truly understand how the patients feel now. And sometimes, you have to learn it the hard way.

Even as you start just your first year, and you embark this journey to become dental surgeons, let me just challenge you on two fronts.

Inevitably, all of you here will start to go into private practice. You will start to accumulate wealth. I can guarantee you. Just doing an implant can bring you thousands of dollars, it's fantastic money. And actually there is nothing wrong with being successful, with being rich or wealthy, absolutely nothing wrong. The only trouble is that a lot of us like myself couldn't handle it.

Why do I say that? Because when I start to accumulate, the more I have, the more I want. The more I wanted, the more obsessed I became. Like what I showed you earlier on, all I can was basically to get more possessions, to reach the pinnacle of what society did to us, of what society wants us to be. I became so obsessed that nothing else really mattered to me. Patients were just a source of income, and I tried to squeeze every single cent out of these patients.

A lot of times we forget, whom we are supposed to be serving. We become so lost that we serve nobody else but just ourselves. That was what happened to me. Whether it is in the medical, the dental fraternity, I can tell you, right now in the private practice, sometimes we just advise patients on treatment that is not indicated. Grey areas. And even though it is not necessary, we kind of advocate it. Even at this point, I know who are my friends and who genuinely cared for me and who are the ones who try to make money out of me by selling me "hope". We kind of lose our moral compass along the way. Because we just want to make money.

Worse, I can tell you, over the last few years, we bad mouth our fellow colleagues, our fellow competitors in the industry. We have no qualms about it. So if we can put them down to give ourselves an advantage, we do it. And that's what happening right now, medical, dental everywhere. My challenge to you is not to lose that moral compass. I learnt it the hard way, I hope you don't ever have to do it.

Secondly, a lot of us will start to get numb to our patients as we start to practise. Whether is it government hospitals, private practice, I can tell you when I was in the hospital, with stacks of patient folders, I can't wait to get rid of those folders as soon as possible; I can't wait to get patients out of my consultation room as soon as possible because there is just so many, and that's a reality. Because it becomes a job, a very routine job. And this is just part of it. Do I truly know how the patient feels back then? No, I don't. The fears and anxiety and all, do I truly understand what they are going through? I don't, not until when this happens to me and I think that is one of the biggest flaws in our system.

We’re being trained to be healthcare providers, professional, and all and yet we don't know how exactly they feel. I'm not asking you to get involved emotionally, I don't think that is professional but do we actually make a real effort to understand their pain and all? Most of us won’t, alright, I can assure you. So don't lose it, my challenge to you is to always be able to put yourself in your patient's shoes.

Because the pain, the anxiety, the fear are very real even though it's not real to you, it's real to them. So don't lose it and you know, right now I'm in the midst of my 5th cycle of my chemotherapy. I can tell you it’s a terrible feeling. Chemotherapy is one of those things that you don't wish even your enemies to go through because it's just suffering, lousy feeling, throwing out, you don't even know if you can retain your meals or not. Terrible feeling! And even with whatever little energy now I have, I try to reach out to other cancer patients because I truly understand what pain and suffering is like. But it's kind of little too late and too little.

You guys have a bright future ahead of you with all the resource and energy, so I’m going to challenge you to go beyond your immediate patients. To understand that there are people out there who are truly in pain, truly in hardship. Don’t get the idea that only poor people suffer. It is not true. A lot of these poor people do not have much in the first place, they are easily contented. for all you know they are happier than you and me but there are out there, people who are suffering mentally, physically, hardship, emotionally, financially and so on and so forth, and they are real. We choose to ignore them or we just don't want to know that they exist.

So do think about it alright, even as you go on to become professionals and dental surgeons and all. That you can reach out to these people who are in need. Whatever you do can make a large difference to them. I'm now at the receiving end so I know how it feels, someone who genuinely care for you, encourage and all. It makes a lot of difference to me. That’s what happens after treatment. I had a treatment recently, but I’ll leave this for another day. A lot of things happened along the way, that's why I am still able to talk to you today.

I'll just end of with this quote here, it's from this book called Tuesdays with Morris, and some of you may have read it. Everyone knows that they are going to die; every one of us knows that. The truth is, none of us believe it because if we did, we will do things differently. When I faced death, when I had to, I stripped myself off all stuff totally and I focused only on what is essential. The irony is that a lot of times, only when we learn how to die then we learn how to live. I know it sounds very morbid for this morning but it's the truth, this is what I’m going through.

Don’t let society tell you how to live. Don’t let the media tell you what you're supposed to do. Those things happened to me. And I led this life thinking that these are going to bring me happiness. I hope that you will think about it and decide for yourself how you want to live your own life. Not according to what other people tell you to do, and you have to decide whether you want to serve yourself, whether you are going to make a difference in somebody else's life. Because true happiness doesn't come from serving yourself. I thought it was but it didn't turn out that way. With that I thank you, if you have any questions you have for me, please feel free. Thank you.

---

i m glad tht til date, i stil feel for others..
althou i wil kill cockroaches.. (i seriously scare thm)

i m glad tht i wil stop & look at thgs ard me..
look at ppl tht r ard me.. feel e world ard me..

i wish i cn hv more tm to do these..
to see & feel e world..


---

Dr Teo passed away on 18Oct12.


***

i need a mouse.................. o_O


***

went over to new hse..
as we went at night, thus everythg we see is dark..

is a small unit.. althou is 3+1..
































1 thg gd is e facilities thr..















sorry, taken outside plus so dark thus unable to see clearly..
is pool table & table soccer



1 of e swimming pool..





shd b shifting over ard dec.. wil hv to bz bz pack & unpack agn..
hopefully thr is enough storage space for me..

---

tis is my flat layout..
my own home..



m excited cos is properly just anothr 1 & a half yrs to go..
alrdy started thinking hw i wan it to b..
started looking at sm design books..

a warm & cozy hm is wht i m looking at..
v fast i wil nd to pack & unpack agn..
just tht tis tm rd, no facilities..


***

my past week's yummy food..

family dinr at sakura..





so sm reason.. felt pain for e fish..



love e durain paste..



lobster salad..



ben & jerry ice cream.. <3>



crab..



chawa..



anothr yummy dinr was at chinatown with dear..








& wendy's burger b4 our movie session..



taichi 2 is nt as nice as 1.. but i stil like e movie..



we also went to our dating restaurant..
our 3rd tm thr.. brings bk sm memories..






i knw we seems to b always eating same food at same area..
dear said, is always e same food pic we r taking.. true..

hmm.. will properly update special food or location nxt tm..
wht i enjoy most is e company.. food is e secondary.. ^ ^


***

older darling is bk.. he is darker, thinner..

had successfully converted e korean dvd series,
put onto my phone .. ^^

tomor going on leave to bring dad to sgh for review..

joey wana buy just dance 4..

my birthday coming...
dun knw y i feel excited tis yr.. lol..


***

hate migraine..

older darling is coming bk.. counting down..
heard of e scary bills..
& sm punishment he may nd to face..

most importantly.. is bk hm safe

---

a v bz bz week..
reports.. insufficient staff & preparation of new project...

going bk office almost every weekend makes me feels
like i m working 6days a week..
coming week will stretch min 12days I think..
did e Nov roster.. pretty much same like Oct

I hope staffs will walk thru these tough tm with me

new project will begin Dec..
frankly, dun think we r or will b ready.. sigh..

foresee I'll b bz for at least another yr..
cos I'll dealing with not just cub,
plus aces.. e reports will properly flood me..
current cub alrdy nd min 7-8 working days.. with aces...
not forgetting all projects r equally importantly..

---

I was boiling when I know I nd to carry e cpu down..
remove doc, files fr e cpu is nt an easy task..
transfer fr my cpu to share folder bit by bit..
then copy all files to my hard disk..

carry e bulky & heavy cpu all by myself..
and install everything bk when it came bk,
bit by bit fr hard disk to common folder,
then to my cpu..

bz with unnecessary thg..

---

dad in hospital 2 weeks alrdy..
3 scope, blood count drop..
hv no idea y or what happen..

wonder what's e bill ..
wonder what will e doc do next..

guess he will b hm tomorrow..
I'll go pick him fr wk..

mum has been nagging..
makes me feels more 'fan'..

---

being with u I alrdy know I cun rely on u..
nt bcos u nt e person I cn reply on..
is I dun wan to burden u with my stuff..

I nd to constantly remind myself to b independent..

coping with almost everything on my own,
deaking with our new noisy environment..
plus e many stress I m having..

I m sorry..
I knw I m rather short temper lately..
I'll learn to manage my stress,
& will also learn to manage my temper..

but.. I do hope u truly know me,
& understd what I m going thru with ur heart..
almost 4yrs, i dun remembr any making use of u..
except for relying..

i knw driving me ard occasionally to hospital or cck,
is a favour, nt a duty.. & u know I do appreciate..

pls dun judge me when I m nt e norm me..
hv patient with me when I gone crazy..
if u know ur so call 'wife'..

I m sorry.. for loosing my cool..
for making u feel make used..

---

getting older everything goes bigger..
butt go bigger,
thigh go bigger,
waist go bigger,
tummy go bigger,
eye bag also goes bigger..


***

this was done by bb jovan..
of cos wth e help of his teacher.. haha..
































last week's yummy food..
fr crystal jade.. went wth e phees..
actually got sm more food but too bz thn forget to take.. lol
e food thr nt bad.. but alittl ex..















































1 of our dinr bak gu teh..
for sm reason... dun find it as nice as b4..

















went over to vivo for movie,
we tried a jap restuarant thr..





























































































food was gd..
specially like e rice..
i wil learn to cook tht.. so we cn hv tht at hm... ^ ^

watch tai chi 0

















i love e movie..
interesting way of presenting it..
fighting scenes in slow mo,
cartoon way of filming, is like watching rpg game..
would b bettr if thr is more fighting scenes,
especially fr 怪咖, only turned into 怪咖 once..

was rather surprise to see 舒淇's role..

v littl info on e new main actor 袁晓超,
only knw he is china 全国武术第一名..
director 冯德伦 is quite daring to use a new face as a main actor..

thr is a v pretty actress, angelababy..
actual name is angela yeung wing.
she is a model & actress fr Hong Kong but born in shanghai,
angelababy is her stage name,
she got her stage name came fr e combination of her legal given name,
"angela" and her nickname her family gave her "baby"

sm interv over at xin msn :







cun wait for e next movie.. would b gd if is nt just part 1 & 2..
perfect if thr r more edpisodes, smthg like lord of e rings...?

nxt tai chi is on 25Oct12..
i WANA watch...............

1 at nuh, e other at sgh.. hw to visit..?


***

1 admitted sgh, e other wanna stop e chemo cos v 辛苦..
mum called & cried..

dun know hws brother now


***

rather excited to knw e exercise session ..
hopefully is nt too tough & works..


***