plus today, is e 4th migraine i hv in feb14...

sigh..


***

updates...

was surprise to receive flowers fr dear.
tis was wht happened :

we were in his car heading to amk,
aftr he parked his car, he asked me to open e front drawer to take tissue.
i told him no nd, cos i hv a big big pack of tissue in my bag.
he said he needed more..
i was like, " huh? my packet of tissue alrdy so big pack, no nd la "
he insisted me to take more tissue.
i insisted no nd.
ended up he said " just open e drawer "
LOL..
i open & saw e flower..

didnt expect any gift, cos we had spent alot for wedding alrdy.
he had let me knw,
thr wil stil b surprise, thr wil stil b gift or celebration aftr married.
tks dear...





***

tis is a new dish i tried fr atas cafe..
ok la, no bad.
shd hv more vegi.





***

went for a gd massage earlier..
my shoulder, my back, my stomach all nt so gd..
felt unwind.. lol..

shd go more often..
hmm... wondering yishun got any massage?


***

a letter to my dear hubby.


tomor we wil mark our 5th yr togethr..
i hope we wil b as loving,
& able to communicate with each othr for many 5yrs more ahead,
til e day either 1 of us is gone.

falling in love with u, moving baby steps til now,
taking every up & down bravely,
from any situations, b it ms v,
mr old phee, or children, or wk... etcs (anythg tht arises)
is nvr easy... but, i did it. At least til now.
like wht ah gal written, she is proud to b our witness,
cos our path to marriage is not easy.

i hope u wil nt lost ur patience on me as days goes by.
especially me being forgetful, or certain thg i insisted.
i hope u wil stil b a gd listener,
& a loving man just like whn we were gf bf.
i hope u wil nt forget, wht we went thru.
wht i had insisted, hw i had held on.
human r forgetful.. in tht manner, i hope u r different.

nobody knows wht lies ahead.
in 10yrs time, u wil b like me,
kids wil hv their own lifes..
in 10yrs time, u wil b like me, in e 40s..
which is stil young for a man.
but by thn, i m 50plus..
i m heading towards 60s..
u r only heading to 50s..

m certain tht, god send me to u, is to b ur guiding angel..
to protect u, to prevent u fr getting into tht same trap over & over agn..
i guess god had alrdy know, u r hopeless whn is anythg to do with her..
u wil just keep falling into her damn trap every time without fail.

u asked whether i regret marrying u,
my answer as of now is no.
so long i cn feel ur love,
i cn stil b who i m, thr is nothg to regret
although i have an additional role.

u asked whether i regret marrying a much younger u,
as of now, my answer is no. Not sure anothr 10yrs later thou.

is kids tht i m worrying..
cos i knw they wil in a way, cm in between us..
& thr wil b tons of responsibilities, in terms of body, mind, & soul..
not forgetting their education, food, shelter, attentions & needs..
& is not just 1.. is 3.

i hope i wil pass.. as a step mum, as ur wife.
i m v focus in terms of u.. i knw my role v well..
just worry whethr i hv e stamina,
to keep up all e responsibilities & expectations,
cos i knw i m getting old.

as a father of 3, i knw u hv ur limitation.
thr r pros & cons of cos.
with tis 3 fellows ard, i knw u hv been trying ur best to balance up.
& guess wht? i had actually allowed u to 60 kids 40 me,
or mayb 70 kids 30 me.. guess u didn't notice tht huh... ^ ^

is simple, is nt exactly importn whether u 50 50 us.
cos they r ur flesh & blood.
my both darlings wil also cm 1st in my heart.
wht is importn is, u hv me in mind, u care & love me..
even if u r 80 kids 20 me, i wil stil b ok..
hmm... but guess i wil nag abit. hahaha..

woman r silly creature.. they cn do anythg for love. ANYTHG.

i m sorry for unable to get bk in shape (e 's' size me whn we pak tow)..
in a way give up e thought of getting bk e 's' size me aftr so many tries..

i m also sorry to get mad whenever thr is anythg to link with ms v..
cos anythg to do with her is a HIGH alert to me..
&, i wil continue to get mad & in high alert mode til she is dead.


1 day mummy (ur mum) wil b gone.
thr wil b no mummy to fall bk to.
& no mummy to help out with.
now mummy is stil ard & able to help u out almost 50%..
love her more.. she is a great mum from wht i see..
tht is y she deserve my respect.


++

to end tis letter...
tis is wht i wana say :

thank Q for loving me.
althou u had once chose to let go me.
thank Q for not blaming me for keep putting on weight..
althou i ate pretty much e same amount of food daily..

& .......... i tell u huh,

u dun bully me huh....
u dun ignore me whn i m full of white hair,
teeth all drop, skin all crumpled, & nt attractive anymore hor..
u dun go sex anothr woman whn i cun satisfy u hor...

u cn ONLY love me, saiyang me til e day i m gone.


love u, colin phee..


***

side note ..

sue said, nowadays i glow...
at tht v moment, i was thinking ... " GLOW....??? "
1st thg in my mind was,
got sm kind of lights ard me like god? hahaha..

i reply her, " cos i POLISH myself everyday... " lol...

thn i begin to think wht she said..

i glow....
y i glow huh....?
i only knw i GROW.....
didn't notice i also GLOW......

hahahaha..................


***

living in spore is getting so mush tougher.
education, cost of living, housing, in fact everything.

look at e difference between my time & e current education.
e only thg i cn say is 'scary'

i dun understd y our respectable 'father' pushes his ppl like tis.
bcos we r a tiny small country?
thn y squeeze in so many ft?
alrdy so tiny stil squeeze in so many ft.

to push spore economic to e highest?
i think he succeeded in a way,
cos our currency is so strong now as compare to 20yrs ago.
but, everythg here is just so expensive.

bcos e population here is getting old?
everybody wil grow old wht.. is norm..
ok fine, u wana balance up (to save tis country)?
sure..... but i think u overdo it.
every whr we go, r filipinos , bangala,
PRCs... ( iread an acticle tis am, we hv 1 mil PRC here.. ONE MIL!!)
not forgetting thr r also Ang Mos.

bcos we dun gv birth...?
hw to gv birth to many whn e living standard is so horribly high here?
if i m living in malaysia, i wil gv birth more.

bcos we dun wana wash toilet, sweep flr, do dirty sweaty job?
if u r willing to pay, i m sure thr r tons of ppl willing to do.

bcos company wana cut cost, cheaper labour?
thn tos did not study well, or older generation r force out of job.


***

our current 'y' or 'z' generation education scheme is also a horrible thg.
fr P4 stream, to PSLE, to N & O level.. & so on & so on..

my time was so much easier.
now?
u need sm L1R5 to determine whr u wil go,
aftr tht thr wil b sm subject RULES to follow...
for eg, inorder to do science u wil nd :

GP + PW + (H1MTL) + MA2 + PH2 + CM2 + (EC2 or GE2 or HI2 or EN2)
GP + PW + (H1MTL) + MA2 + BI2 + CM2 + (EC2 or GE2 or HI2 or EN2)

if u dun meet e science 'rules', even hw much u wan or interested,
u wil nt b able to join..

tos rules... confusing, complicated & add on stress nt just for e current gen,
for their parents too.. worry wil their children wun make it or survive..


***

y govermt cun just makes thgs simpler?
y cun they dun push our living so high?

they make movie to ask us smile more..
to live happy.. to balance up our life with family..
they said wan our children to hv a " childhood "...
they say life is nt just abt education..
they wan e nxt gen to knw morale as well..

sch teaches academic way more thn morale nowadays.
sch even compete on ranking..
hw much human knowledge did e sch teach?

govermt wan us to take care of our parents whn they r old..
with such high standard of living,
our children r having problem to feed themselves & their children.
do u think they hv e time & $ to also take care of us whn we r old?

they ask ppl to marry, hv children, make a family..
with e current living standard,
u think our younger gen is able to marry, hv children,
make a family before 30?
unless tis person has a rich father.
if nt, u cun even pay a hse 1st down payment if u r not reaching 30.

each election, they lost abit..
fr overall 80%, til last election avg 60/70%..
i m sure it wil continue to reduce..

is it tm for thm to reali think agn?


***

joey sch starts today..
unable to go to his preferred sch mj..
just bcos of 1 point.. he is rather disappointed.

so today, i woke up supper early to wake him up..
he took bus to sch, which is at serangoon..

wonder hws his 1st day at sch...

finally i cn zz at a much normal hr,
aftr almost 3mths of 2am zz..
last night i managed to zz ard 11plus pm...

yeah .. lol


***

baby has been rather naughty lately..
everythg cn nt.. must follow his way.. noisy, cry.. demanding..
so direct to others became rude..
for eg, he said to his dad :
" u huh............ so naughty " whn his dad didn't do e way he wan it to b..

his parents, beat him aftr much 'ren'....
sigh..... see & hear alrdy heartache.. althou i knw he is naughty

last evening, he was beaten by his dad for throwing tantrum..
he told his dad : " i dun like u "

tis am, he throw tantrums agn.. his dad went wk.
his mum beat him... he cried so hard.. (my heart almost broke)..
he said while crying so hard (must b v painful i think) :
" hey u !!! stop beating me ! "
i was like, " wow......." he said tht to his mum...
his mum said " u better behave ! stop crying ! "

BIG sigh...........

baby ah baby.......
pls b a gd boy k....
dun wan u to get beaten...


***

boring cny

***

random updates..

tis fellow had accom me to wk today.. lol




i got a big shock whn i saw it on my bag while i was siting dwn.. >.<""


***

daryl assisted me on e remote access..
i cn now do report at hm.. althou thr wil b sm distraction working at hm..
but i dun hv to rush bk office to do..

THANK Q daryl... ^ ^


***

nash has shown more involvement nowadays..

which i m glad of..
part of it is bcos i needed a right & left hand man..
e othr part, as a senior, is time to prep himself for a bettr role..
i hope he wil successfully take on more responsibilities..

working undr my hand, we r like a big family..
team wk is importn..

new project is slowly tuning.. calls not as much as past 2 mths..
althou thr r stil alot of messy issues..
i hope we wil improve more moving forward.


***

hmm... sm ppl alrdy 捞'ed 5th 鱼生..
& is just e 2nd day of cny..

i haven't even 捞 once.. =( 


***

bought tis for joey's bday..









due to all e odd shape, i wrapped it up separately..



he doesn't seems v into photography..
i decided to get him tis cos, his older cam alrdy cun use anymore..
& i wil nt b staying with him in anothr few mths time..
he wun b able to just borrow my cam like now..
& m thinking, he is old enough to hv his own bettr cam..

hopefully he wil take gd care of it,
& he wil knw hw to operate it well


***

i was amaze whn i saw tis.. haha..
was at my hse dwn str..
r they making love....?





***

tis is fr a dear fren..
is nt christmas, is nt my birthday & she just mailed me a tee.. 
so v sweet of her..




***

time check.... almost 0130hrs ...
my boy has no intention of zz'ing..
i m dead tired alrdy..
gona end here, off lappy & nag him to zzz..
night .....


***