brother right eye swell..
doc said perhaps is a relapse, or an effect fr chemo.
test & test & test & stil testing.
everythg is a question mark.

he called me awhile ago..
said Dr yong suggested him to do chemo directly fr e head.
Dr yong mentioned like tht effect faster.

brother is worry cos per jab is ard $5-$6k
besides e $, he is worry whether his body cn take it or nt.

told him nt to think so much, i'll talk to e doc.
my point of view, he shd at least try.

meeting his doc tomor am.

***

yestrdy was dad's 77 49days.
dear assisted to buy 'small' & 'big' $, shoe & clothes for him
went temple to pray him ard 12plus pm.

prayed together with a monk, & packet afew ang bao for shi fu.
after praying, shi fu asked whether i did study buddhism..?
i asked shi fu hw cm he knw.. lol, m thining he cn sense it?
i told him yes, & i told him my primary & secondary sch r buddhist sch.
shi fu asked me to go learn buddhist, he said i cn go temple & listen his teaching.

***

went photo shooting with my dear..
we post & post & post till we got wht we wan.
so fun.. hahaha.. i like but i didnt tell him.

surprisingly, he told me awhile ago,
tht we shd go photo shooting whn we hv nothg to do.

love it.. ^ ^
we share this same hobby..

***

v v forgetful lately..
getting littl worry.

i cn forget to flash aftr i toilet at hm..
but tis wun happen whn i m outside.. strange..

dear said i m too stress lately..
well..... he always knw hw to comfort me

***

few more days to my report day..
by thn i wil b super bz agn..
both left & right hand wun b ard.
hopefully cases nt alot.

i hv a always fever, stomach pain staff.
looking at her, i seriously dun knw hw cn she survive nxt tm
think her bonus wil b a gone case.

in order for me to help u, u hv to help urself 1st.
if nt, nobody, nt even god cn help u.

i once read sm1 wrote :

"Some people's hearts are hard to reach; that doesn't mean it's not there."

but, this person who wrote this never think :
these people need to open their heart.. if not, is as good as e heart is nt thr.
  
***

bb hfmd recovered.
he is now so cute.. *love*
he talks alot.. cute ^ ^
he chooses his own shirt & shoes when go out.
he wil say " i fart..."

haha.. funny boy.

***

few more days to mar..
my hse is alrdy at 13th flr..
perhaps end of e yr cn get e hse if everythg goes smoothly.

i'll shift another round b4 heading to my own pl.

***

went legoland with e phees..
hot is e word.. was really really hot.
lousy me hv continuous 2days headache after e trip.

would b gd if tht place hv more shelter or more aircon area.
i feel e place is more for kids ranging from 6-14yrs old.
too young many games cun play, too old also many games cun play,
except for 1-2 roller coaster game r meant for adults.

e game i enjoyed most, shooting game.. haha..

thgs there r not cheap & limited,
thus i didnt buy anythg bk.

overall e kids hv fun, & we were all exhausted.
photos alrdy on fb ^ ^

***

e same night i took ur mobile hm..
i dreamed, i took ur mobile hm agn..
felt v bad & v sorry in e dream..
e dream felt so real..

think m rather stress for taking ur mobile hm.. lol

***

bb has hfmd..
poor him has blisters ard his lips, ear,
thighs, hands, legs, inside his mouth etc.
super cranky, cry & cry almost every min.
his favorite milk also dun wan.
hope he recover sn.. i haven't kiss him for few days.

***

agent is coming to view e hse later..
all of us nd to siam..
think we wil b shifting agn v sn.

***

bro condition like a roller coaster,
certain day under control,
certain day fever, numb, etc

now his right eye swell, & his right eye cun see.
doc nvr update us with his condition,
i hv to constantly request for updates.

frankly, fr wht i see, i dun think he cn tong v long..

***

anothr 2 weeks is march..
a quarter of e yr is gone..
time really passed v fast..

at my current age, i m scare..
father & brother incidents hv a v huge impact on me..
everyday i wake up knowing, i had just minus 1 day away fr my life..
everyday i wake up knowing, i m walking towards death.

imagine, u use ur body organs for 40 more yrs,
our parents or grand parents use their body for 60-80yrs..
hw wil nt spoil? car also nd maintenance yearly..

scary..

***

tis yr we didnt go to 'he pan'..
rain & rain & like nothg much to see..

had alrdy finished e chinatown gua zi..
shd hv buy more..

***

noticed i cun slim dwn..
unlike last time, skip meals or control meals will see sm results.
now no result at all.. discouraging..
age is really a major issue to everythg..
althou my heart is stil young..
physical old alrdy also useless..

***

nxt thurs.. hopefully everythg is ok..

***

sm conversation fr baby j..

mummy : " jovan, u see... truck... "
baby : " i knw....."

---

daddy brings baby for a swim dwn str..
daddy splash water on baby..
baby all wet, said : "naughty papa..."

---

mummy ask baby go brush teeth...
baby said : " no teeth...."

***

think my laptop gona die on me sn... =(
tis morning tried 3-4x thn manage to boot up...

pls dun die on me during cny period k...
u r my entertainer.. i nd to watch series,
go fb, blog abit etc...
if u died on me during cny, i b v sad..

***

cny toto... huat ah !
we shd do e same like every yr.. join force buy toto.
may e force is with us !

***

finished all reports & felt 'lighter' ..
cn hv a peace of mind & rot at hm.. lol

***

woke up mid of night cos of sm npc gateway died.
& migraine 'happily' continued fr yesterday.. (hate it)

***

little darling bot his cny clothing like finally..
hmm... taste improved alot.. hahaha...

***

read 1 of a gal's blog,
a blog tht i wil occasionally go check it ot to see hw is her..
was shock to see her current pic..
she looks like she is taking drugs..
her hair is e hair i actually wanted,
e half 1 colour thn bottom red.. nice..
but her eyes... looks dead..

i always tell ppl ard me,
is ur body, y aren't u taking care of it?

i seen my dad passed away right in front of me..
i seen wht my brother is going thru..
all e needles, all e blue black, all e pain,
all e chemo, all e medicines...

dear all... whoever tht is reading my post..
pls, pls, pls...
take gd care of ur body..
dun drink too many sweet drinks or soft drinks..
plain water is a must..
dun smoke.. u spend $$ to demage ur body.
dun drink til u r drunk.. too much drinking is bad for liver..
zzz earlier, eat on tm, try to eat healhier..

all e above is for ur loves 1,
nt to worry for u..
is for ur health..

dun wait til u got smthg serious, thn u regret..
tos pain & suffering u wil go thru is nt a joke..

so all... pls stop smoking, eat & drink & live a healthier life..
for ur loves 1, & urself..

***

i knw my dear wil also b bz bz sn..
i knw u r also quite stress at wk..
pour to me whn u stress k..
like i pour to u alrdy i feel better..

althou i cun help much (u cun help me much too)..
but having each other by e side to pour is gd enough..

mr phee.. sorry..
& i love u..

***

looking forward to tues.. pak tow day ^ ^ <3

***

damn...
watch e ch 8 variety show (project dream home), make me cry so many times..


***

bz bz days with no ending tasks..
is exactly like wht my zodiac predicted,
2012 & 2013 both bz yr for me..
i wun hv my own tm, even whn i m at hm.
wonder hw is 2014..?

so many thgs happen, dun knw whr to begin.

staff's inlaw passed away,
staff's grandpa critical in hospital..
brother went bk to nuh after many days of fever..

as much as i dun like e current bz schedule,
guess i wil hv to live with it..
hopefully 2014 wil nt b so bz

***

seen new hse progres.. alrdy 12 flr..

***

went over to their new hse,
i quite like e enviroment & surroundings.
just that e rooms r alittle small..

***

finally booked lego land
hope it wun rain on tht day

***

2 more days to cny..
nothg much to feel excited abt,
except for i cn rot at hm..

***

做人要不怕吃点亏..
in tis project, nt just u bz..
my team is also v bz..
1 critical fault u hv many calls...?
wht is ur calls compare to mine...?
helping out, b more understanding towards team mates only in ur own team?
u drawing lines with us...? we nt 'under ur team'...?
thus u feel we make u do alot of EXTRA wk??????
y dun u scold ur management??
they r e 1 tht is making u & my team so fucking bz ok !!
y put ur unhappiness onto my team??
is nt we make u call to followup case half hourly !


做事要记得留些余地..
u didnt think of consequences b4 u blow???
u dun leave us sm space to breath or move,
dun expect us to leave u sm breathing space !


a project is base on a TEAM's wk..
my word 'TEAM' means engineers from all sectors, HD, SA, etcs etcs
thr is no individual in a project.

thr is no point to pin point u r dam fucking right,
u didn't even find out e truth.

since u think tht my team is dam fuck up,
i wil show u hw much MORE fuck up i cn b

since u nvr gv us sm space..
i wil nt gv u tht kind of space & respect

我不是圣人..
我相信因果报应..
除非我有老人痴呆，我会记得你的自私..

你, 不再是我的朋友.

***