On Call 36小时_S2 episode 27 & 28 r so sad.........  =(

today is cny day 1, & i m sitting here at e dining table sobbing...


wht the............

y would human die...?
y god created human in tis manner?

everythg wil also hv a better version...
everythg wil b able to upgrade, improved...

y human dun hv......?

h.....e......l.......l.......o........... god??

ask me to talk to god....
but e thg is, everythg i asked,
fr 10yrs ago, til now, no answer.


****

i wil usually feel alittl more lonely whn thr is importn festival..
such as, christmas, cny, valentine day, birthday...
guess tis is all single's feeling.. lol...

althou i m attached.. tis many yrs thr is mr phee accom me..
but i wil stil feel 'miss out' smthg cos we r staying apart..
v far apart..

tis cny, no diff fr any othr many cny tht i went thru, i m alone at hm..
all handsome handsome, pretty pretty went 拜年..

but tis cny, i feel slightly different..
althou thr is stil slight 'missing out' feeling..
althou thr is stil slight lonely feeling..
but tis yr, i feel blessed & contented..

aftr everybody went out, sitting at e dinning table,
i decided to 奖励 & 慰劳 myself with a big mcdonald breakfast ^ ^



munching my breakfast, blogging..

i tell myself to b glad tht i cn hv sm own personal time..
no 'noisy' jovan (he bitten me 3x tis morning lor.. nt pain la, but he reali bite).. lol
no nd to b 'maid' to my beloved sons..

nxt, feeling contented tht i cn stil sit here to enjoy my yummy breakfast, cn stil blog..
feel happy tht i m stil healthy & alive..

as we age, thinking changed, feeling changed.. thgs tht we wan changed..
at my age now, all i wan is healthy...
nt just me, is ALL tos i love & care to b healthy...

i shd go exercise..
hmm....


anyway, wishing all ppl ard me to hv a blessed cny ! *love love*



***

e answer to e gift..













he did mentioned during our wedding, to hv 1 of tis.
we hv 2 cams, whenever we travel,
we hv to hang e cam on our neck for a full whole day..
getting tis wil ease our neck pain..

hope he likes it..
thr is better 1..
i decided on tis cos is rather compact,
he cn carry backpack it if e rd if nt even..
plus i knw he wil n b happy if i go for e v ex 1..


***

guess wht's inside...?







***

e urge of going to e hotel for few hrs just for a gd sleep was so strong last evening..
i was so so tired.. mind going blank..
i nd a gd zz.. so badly.. i nearly went to any hotel just to zz tht few hrs last evening..

sound so poor thg right.....? lol

well, in e end i didn't..
cos i m afraid i wil end up nvr wake up fr my zz...
ppl wil end up wondering y i died in a hotel alone..

so, i went for a massage instead.. hoping to ease e bk pain..
& hoping to hv a bettr zz last night..

ended up, stil unable to zz well cos of e pain..
worry for my over exhausted body & mind..

ever since sch hols, i avg zz ard 2am..
earliest is 1plus am, worst is almost 3am..
means since joey finish his O, which is mid nov til now..
2mths alrdy..? everyday zz for 4-5hrs..

last night he finally notice his poor mummy..
he said, "u zz 1st, dun wait for me.."
i told him "cn nt... i hv to wait for u to zz 1st cos i snore v loud"
he said "aiya, nvm abt ur snore la.. u just zz 1st"

i always feel so poor thg.
i dun hv a rm for me to rest..
b it tired, or sick..
i dun hv my own privacy..
i dun hv a tv to watch, nt even news..
i dun hv a pl to sit (i usually sit at e dining table or on e flr)
i dun hv pl to put my stuffs, everythg is 'squeeze'.....

well, i dun deny i hv other privilege thou..
such as, i dun nd to wash my clothes,
i dun nd to iron my clothes, i dun nd to fold my clothes,
i dun hv to tidy my rm, or bed, or cabinets,
i dun hv to pay a single cents to stay in a condo

u hv sm, u lost sm..


***

once in a long while i wil hv tis..
i do not knw wht exactly is tht..
but is e back pain, i hereby call it muscle spasm.

i recall e v 1st tm i had tis was whn i m staying in tenah merah.. 3yrs ago?
tht tm was ard lower bk but i cun remembr is left or right side..
it was so painful tht i cun breath properly..
as in i hv to breath v lightly, wil hv v sharp pain whm i breath deeply,
or whn i lift my arms, or turn my body etc..

monday night i felt similar pain..
tis tm round is higher bk towards e right side..
it started off only v slight discomfort on monday night..
but i stil cn turn, breath normally, clear my throat.

yestrdy aftrn e pain kindna evolved..


++

tis am, i woke up rather early,
cos it was so painful i cun sleep..

it hurts whn i zz facing up,
extreme painful whn i turn to left or right.
i cun turn, i cun move much, everythg bcom slow motion..
sleeping bcom painful.

i cun cough, i cun clear my throat, i cun blow my nose..
even whn i swallow, is painful..
so drinking water, eating food bcom tough..

ask sm medi fr jeff tis am..
to take aftr food..

sigh...
hope to recover soon..

e older i get, e more problem i hv..


++

tis is wht i found

Spasms may occur when a muscle is overused and tired,
particularly if it is overstretched or if it has been
held in the same position for a prolonged period of time. I

n effect, the muscle cell runs out of energy and fluid
and becomes hyperexcitable, resulting in a forceful contraction.
This spasm may involve part of a muscle, the whole muscle,
or even adjacent muscles.

Overuse as a cause of skeletal muscle spasm is often seen
in athletes who are doing strenuous exercise in a hot environment.
This is also an occupational issue with construction workers or
others working in a hot environment. Usually, the spasms will
occur in the large muscles that are being asked to do the work.

Overuse can also occur with routine daily activities like
shoveling snow, or mowing or raking grass, causing muscle
spasms of the neck, shoulder, and back.

Unfamiliar exercise activities can also cause muscle spasms
to occur. Abdominal spasms can occur when a person decides
to begin working their abdominal muscles by doing situps
and does too many too quickly.

It is commonly thought that dehydration and depletion
of electrolytes will lead to muscle spasm and cramping.
Muscle cells require enough water, glucose, sodium,
potassium, calcium, and magnesium to allow the proteins
within them to interact and develop an organized contraction.
Abnormal supply of these elements can cause the muscle to
become irritable and go into spasm.

Many patients seek care for more chronic neck and back
pain because of recurrent muscles spasms. Large muscle groups
make up the trunk, including the neck (for example, trapezius muscle),
chest wall, upper back, and lower back (such as the latissimus dorsi muscle).
Muscle spasms in these muscles can be a result of an injury or
they may develop over time because of arthritic changes in the spine.
Systemic illnesses like diabetes, anemia (low red blood cell count),
kidney disease and thyroid and other hormone issues are also potential
causes of muscle spasms.

& so on & so on & so on..

++

so, whts e cause of mine...?

dehydration? overuse? unfamiliar exercise activities?
insufficient of ? glucose? sodium? potassium?
calcium? and magnesium? diabetes? anemia?
kidney disease? thyroid?

sigh..


***

had finally finished my 120 episodes korean series..

'accidentally' came across 中国好声音.
tos singers inside are wow... reali impressive..



音乐能带动我的心...
它能让我感动...
也能带着我的心情起伏..


尤其为歌手感动
深深的体会到他们的努力,付出与坚持...


我完全能感受歌曲里所要表达的..
也能体会里边的开心, 难过, 心碎....



中国好声音, 让我找回被遗忘的自己


***

is a 10   ^ ^


***

all of us anxiously waiting...
hopefully is wht he is expecting

*pray*


***

in e yr of 2014....
i wana watch these movies....
of cos sm r 4 e kids..

to begin with,

Hours (paul walker, is not his last movie)   (*)
now





I, Frankenstein   (*)
towards end jan14





Huat Ah! Huat Ah! Huat! (阿牛) (*)
end jan14





The Lion Men Part 1 (jack neo) (family) (*)
end jan14





The Lego Movie (kids)
beginning of feb14





The Monkey King (Donnie Yen, Chow Yun-Fat, Aaron Kwok) (*)
beginning of feb14





Non-Stop (*)
beginning of mar14





300 Rise of an Empire (*)
beginning of mar14





Tarzan (kids)
mid of mar14





Noah (*)
end of mar14





Rio 2 (kids)
towrds mid of apr14





Transcendence (Johnny Depp)
end of arp14





Amazing Spider-Man 2 (family) (*)
beginning of may14





Godzilla 2014
mid may14





X-Men: Days of Future Past
aftr mid may14





Maleficent (family) (*)
end may14





How To Train Your Dragon 2 (family) (*)
mid jun14





Transformer 4 age of extinction (family) (*)
end jun14





Rise of the planet of the apes 2 (*)
towards mid of jul14





Hercules The Legend Begins
towards end of jul14





Plane : Fire And Rescue (family)
beginning of sept14





The Boxtrolls (family)
mid of sept14





Dolphin Tale 2 (family)
slightly after mid of sept14





The Hobbit: There and Back Again (part 2) (sorry no trailer) (*)
mid dec14



& e 2 movies below with unknown release date :

Mortal Kombat Legacy II (*)
unknown





Seventh Son (*)
unknown





well, perhaps thr r other movies tht i m nt aware of..
all e above is a total of 26 movies.. lol..
at least 16 of thm i reali wana watch..

dear dear watch with me ok...? ok...?

thank Q hor



***

time check : 0130hrs..

wht m I doing here at tis hr?
waiting to zzz...

my joey has no intention of zzz'ing yet,
& thr is sm1 inside e toilet, I cun brush teeth..

woke up with migraine today.
has been dealing with it e whole day. .
finally took a medi ard evening.
now slightly better, hope tomor no more migraine.

took e 3 phees to bowl..
we had fun, all enjoyed,
all any hw throw.. lol..
tis shall b 1 of our activities ^ ^

wana pick up pool..
see whether we hv time for tht..

nowadays wil think,
dun knw wil i wake up fr sleep..
especially whn I m unwell,
scare I sleep already wil not wake up..

m happy cn see my dear later..
ok, tht sm1 is out fr toilet,
me go brush teeth..


***

2 0 1 4 & i m anothr yr older..

saw many ppl writing abt importn thgs happened in their 2013..
thr were so many thgs happened on 2013 tht affected me..

major incidents :

dad sudden passed away right beside me (alone) in Jan13, 
brother passed away after going thru abt 9mths of pain in May13..
did eye bag removal,
married to mr phee..

other importn thgs tht happened ard me & of cos affecting me were
mum's stress on dad & bro..
e whole process of rom preparation,
got my 1st lao hua spec, thou i hardly wear..
shifted to pasir ris..
both my left & right hand left
nose/breathing became sensitive..?
worst haze i came across
accepted by dear's mum..
went Vietnam, 
bought myself a new 3ds & a new lappy
mum went blank.. instant lost of tht day's memories,
settling dad & bro's EVERYTHING
worst migraine i ever had (straight 7days)
joel's ord
joey's olevel..
launching of new project..
e arrival of xia xue's baby dash..

2013 was a so v stressful, tiring, & busy yr for me..
it was reali quite a tough yr..
body reacting to all e stress i had.. sigh, reali no kidding..

well of cos thr were sm happy thgs in 2013,

joel ord like finally..
felt his feel whenever i see him going bk to camp fr home..

joey finished his stressful Os & got a A2 for his chinese,
he worked reali hard for his chinese.. pushing me to my limits,
& also v discipline on food & study.. m proud of him..

dear's mum accepted me, aftr so long..
it felt like, finally my affect is not wasted..
& i knw my dear needed sm support fr his family..

i became mrs phee
althou i did thought of tht every now & thn,
but i always tell myself not to put in much hope,
worrying huge disappointm..
& till date, i wil stil think : i m mrs phee already????

oh, & e arrival of xia xue's baby dash..

wondering wht is e arrival of xia xue's baby has to do with me?
well, bcos looking at his pictures makes me happy..
i'll everyday at least check 3-4x instagram & dayre to see dash's pic,
looking at tis cute & handsome baby make me smile...


***

noticed updating of blog lessen..
wil update more if time permits..


***

m stil working on handling my stress..
& now an additional new role 'step mum'..

dear wil b v bz in jan14, & i wil start my war with time tomor for at least a week..
end of e mth is cny alrdy.. thn wil b feb.. & v soon wil b mar.. time reali pass so fast
& tht wil b a quarter of 2014 is gone..


***

i m watching korean series 荆棘花 now..
not bad.. but is reali long... 120 episodes..


***

i read an article :

有个懂你的人，是最大的幸福
这个人，不一定十全十美，但他能读懂你，能走进你的心灵深处，能看懂你心里的一切。
最懂你的人，总是会一直的在你身边，默默守护你，不让你受一点点的委屈。

真正爱你的人不会说许多爱你的话，却会做许多爱你的事


***

today is baby jovan's birthday..
3 yrs old alrdy.. which means i had stayed with thm for 3yrs plus..
he can speaks quite well now but some words unable to pronounce v clearly.
he always say 'no....................'
perhaps is reali 'monster 3'.. lol
nevertheless, we stil love him..


***

thank Q dear.. for nvr change my life style much..


***